FINAL DRAFT
Mr. Salsich
English 8
1/21/10
Theres Always A Beginning:
Do We Appreciate Its Results?
TS We create things with our imagination, we dream our daydreams, and think our normal thoughts. CM Under every imagination and daydream or regular thought there is a hidden meaning. CM You can always start at the beginning of the thought and at the end you will maybe understand its complicated meaning. CS Nobody thinks deep enough to figure out the meaning of things.
TS Imagination is what creates new moments and inventions. SD A quote that follows the line of imagination: "Somewhere along when the Finches were in Egypt one of 'em must have learned a hieroglyphic or two and he taught his boy" (Lee, page 303). CM I realized, I have always been very imaginative, thinking sometimes of very creative things. CM When I was younger, I would think of creative stories with my friends and we would play them. SD Relating to the book, Dill has always been creative. CM Dill is always the one who thinks of the games they would play when the children were younger. CM He has the nerve to say in an inspired way: " Well I'm gonna be a new kind of clown. I'm gonna stand in the middle of the ring and laugh at the folks" (Lee, page 290). SD Dill and I are alike, we are both very innovative and creative. CM When our creativity reaches out they are a daydream, thinking of the possible photography shots I could do on my spare time, being creative (S-V split). CM When we get a new art assignment I'm always unsure of myself what I could do creatively. That's my imagination kicking in. CS Imagination controls every living being of this planet. It makes us think of everything that could improve people's lives.
TS We have learned so much from looking at the beginning of things. CM It always makes us appreciate the simple things in life that we have access to. CM We all must realize how fortunate we are to have all these things. CS The people who don't appreciate should really stop what they are doing and think about what they have in life.
1. What part of writing took the most time?
I think it took awhile to try and find the quote I would base this essay off.
2. What is the most significant between the first draft and this final version?
I realized in my first draft I didn't have much unity with my topic my quote was linked to, so I fixed it so it mentioned the topic in every chunk.
3. What do you think is the best part of your paper?
I really enjoy my participle S-V split, it is quite peaceful I believe.
4. What part of this paper could be still improved?
Maybe I might need to fix the punctuation in some areas.
3 comments:
"CM A daydream, thinking of the possible photography shots I could do on my spare time, being creative (S-V split)."
Cassy, the sentence above is actually a sentence fragment. It's a good participial phrase, but play around with it a bit until you get a complete sentence with a clear subject and verb.
Also, I noticed that the sentences in the first paragraph don't seem to lead smoothly, one into the next.
It's hard for me to see the connection between each of those sentences. Work on coherence throughout the essay -- making sure that each sentence leads logically into the next one.
Good luck!
Cassy,
Right away your first sentece was not complete, try putting a verb or action word in that sentence.Also, your second CM does not make sense. Be careful and read over your essay to catch these mistakes. This is a very good essay, good job.
Cassy,
I like your first sentence because it has a funky style to it. Even with it being funky, I dont think it is compleatly correct. You might want to go back and decide whether you want to fix it or not. In your second paragraph you say "when I was littler". You might want to look at that and change it to little. I also think some of the sentences are a little incompleat. You say "I would think of creative stories with my friends and we play". I think you should add a "would" imbetween we and play. I think this is a very good essay, there is flair in some parts that I really like. Make sure to read over your work to catch the little mistakes.
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