2ND DRAFT FOR GRADING
Mr. Salsich
English 8
1/13/10
Mystery:
What Lies Beneath the Surface
TS Mysterious thoughts happen lead to mysterious events. SD No one looks at the facts of who it could of been caused by. CM Thinking nothing more of it we carry on with our lives. CM If only we could use our brains and think more of the intriguing happening. CS We know that we should never nose our way to far into other peoples business.
TS Mystery rages on beneath different characters with different personalities in To Kill A Mockingbird. SD When you think of the Radleys, you think they are harmless because you don't really know who they are. CM However, mystery eats away the surface after you hear the stories of Boo Radley stabbing his father in the leg with his scissors. CM Everyone stays away from the Radleys; there is always something abnormal about them. CS Nobody wants to cause any trouble while trying to interact with the Radleys because they are too mysterious.
TS Mystery seems to make curiosity bloom in the eyes of children. SD Once Atticus finds out that the kids are at the court watching his case unravel, he seems too tired to be furious. CM Atticus reconsiders them staying to see the verdict since they have been there all day. CM He is intrigued by the mystery that fills their eyes because they want to be educated in such a mysterious way. CS He wants them to be well educated, doesn't want them to be hidden from the strange and dangerous world.
TS Am I mysterious? SD Thinking about that question it makes me think how outgoing I am. CM I sometimes think of myself as very random. CM When I am random, you are always wondering what I am going to do next. SD I seem very spontaneous throughout my life's choices. For example, following along with my dad to South Africa. CM Everyone really wondered why I was going they thought that there laid a hidden reason for this trip. CM All it was, was vacation; we all need a break from school every once in awhile. SD When I arrived in South Africa I was perplexed in what this trip might unfold. CM Bringing me good fortune or bad luck? CM I learned some of the culture and the arts and how they made their money of it . SD I didn't know what to expect. CM Should I have expected vandalism everywhere I turn? No. CM I find out this is filled with the smell of the good old fashioned "home" feel to it. CS Traveling around the world is a joy to try new and mysterious foods and styles of living. Its all about trying new things being experienced with the cultures of the world. I enjoy traveling across the globe, but I never really will know where I will be brought to next. I will have to wait for the mystery to unfold itself.
TS The longer you know someone or the longer you read a book and learn more about the character then you can unfold what lies beneath them. SD Throughout life you will learn that when you unravel the binding of a mysterious person you can learn many things. CM You can learn their personality and realize they are a perfectly normal person. CM Nothing is really as mysterious as you thought it was. CS You go on learning more about different people that have a mystery to solve but can really be normal just like you.
2 comments:
Cassy, in your first paragraph, the last two sentences don't seem to fit. They don't flow smoothly from the sentences that came before, about mystery.
Also this sentence -- "Mystery seems to be questioned in the eyes of children" -- is not clear to me. "Questioned" doesn't seem to be the right verb.
Cassy, I like how you worded a lot of the points you were trying to make throughout the essay, but i also think there are a few parts that are not very smooth. for example, the end of the first paragraph the words seemed a little jumbled and your point seemed to get lost.
Also, I think your last paragraph is a little unfocused. Try to remember that each chuck should go together.
Post a Comment