2nd DRAFT FOR GRADING
Cassy
English 8
Mr. Salsich
5/1/10
Friendships: The Everlasting Fondness That Completes Everything
Dear Reader:
This is an essay that reminds you of how much your friends mean to you. There will be four genres describing the laughs that are always there and the worries that are never there. This essay will consist of an expository paragraph, a free verse, a haiku, and an interview. I hope you find what friendship really is in this essay.
Cassy
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Friendship
Friendship is a bond where you are accepted for who you are.
No judgments,
No hate,
No jealousy,
‘Tis love that no one can break.
Friends cannot be separated,
Text,
Phone call,
E-mail,
That is how we keep in touch when we are not exactly next to each other.
We have been through it all,
Since the beginning of our friendship we have told each other many secrets we were scared to share,
We vow not to tell anyone.
We get together every chance we can get.
We sit next to each other in class every chance we can get.
Eager smiles on our faces welcome the giggles that come out of our lips.
Giggles that risk the respect of the teacher in class,
Giggles that make our day only better,
Giggles that take in doubts we had on the possible boring day.
We risk it all.
Through the fall,
The silly costumes we put on for Halloween.
Through the winter,
Where the big group hugs keep us warm together.
Through the spring,
Where we can feel the joy of warm air we breathe in as we giggle about inside jokes.
Through the summer,
‘O the days we lay beside each other tanning on the beach in the heat of the sun.
These seasons are all similar in one way.
We have kept the friendship everlasting throughout the years.
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TS Romeo and Juliet is a love story, but often love begins with a friendship. SD Benvolio, Romeo’s cousin, realizes that Romeo seems lost lately because, “blind is his love and best befits the dark” (Shakespeare, 69). CM His love for Juliet faded any of his consciousness that his friends were still around him. CM If Romeo opens his eyes a little wider there might be people who want to help him with his love problem. SD Romeo met Juliet at her party and they barely knew each other but became fond of each other quickly. CM The first few minutes of meeting each other they become friends. CM Because Romeo’s lips poured out gallons of compliments of her beauty, things changed to love. CS Friendships are a new beginning, friendships can lead to love, and friendships can end with or without a happy ending.
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Friends heal everything,
They fill in the missing pieces,
They make us complete.
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Interview (Q&A): A Woman Who Makes Friends for a Living
This is a woman who makes friends for a living. Is it wrong or right?
Q: What exactly is your job?
A: Well, people call me with a problem with a loved one who seems lonely. I help them find new friends to make their social life easier.
Q: Do you think that is cheating the experience away by setting them up with people they would enjoy to hang out with?
A: Yes and no. The journey to meet new friends makes the experience worthwhile when you find friends on your own. If you notice that someone you know is having trouble coping with his or her social life it is okay to call out for help. Everyone needs a little push sometimes to get to things they want, such as a friendship.
Q: Thank you for letting us interview with you about your unique job.
A: Always a pleasure. Remember that if you need the little extra push to get a friendship call me.
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One writing issue that I still continue to work on is finding all my mistakes. I do believe over this school year that I have almost fixed this problem.
2. One strong point I see in this writing:
I thought my Q&A was very creative and different. I also am really proud of my long free verse poem.
3. One possible weak point I see in this writing:
I am afraid that some people might be a little confused on the Q&A.
4. The grade I would give myself:
I think I would give my self a B+ on this essay because I though my free verse was especially excellent. I also thought that my expository paragraph made a lot more sense than some of my past expository paragraphs.
1 comment:
Cassey,
I really like your poem, it flows very nicely. But do think you need a comma in the second SD of your expository paragraph before "but". Truthfully those were all the mistakes I could find. Really good job.
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